Aging Mindfully

When my first book The Journey Within: A Spiritual Path to Recovery was released by HCI, my publisher called to ask if I did public speaking. I said no. He asked if I would consider it, and I said no. He asked if I would call him back in two weeks and I didn’t. I was terrified of public speaking! I had some very embarrassing times as a child in school and vowed I would  never speak in front of people again.  The publisher called back three weeks later  and told me I was on the agenda to speak in Albany, New York, in October, three months away. Three months to be nervous! After listening to my negative self-talk such as “I’m not good enough” and “Who would want to hear me speak?” for over two months, I remembered, fortunately, that affirmations work.  I wrote this affirmation:

“I am a dynamite, confident, fearless, charismatic and motivating speaker.”

I didn’t believe one word of it and was embarrassed to tell anyone about it.   The power of those words carried me through that engagement and many others until I have finally become relaxed and even enjoyed public speaking.

If you experience thoughts of fear ornegativity, the thoughts of aging will trigger more of the same. Phrases such as: “I can’t get through this without a drink,” “I’m not good enough” and “I’ll never have enough” can turn into “I’m afraid that I won’t have anyone to take care of me when I am older.” “What if my money runs out when I am old?” “What if I have to live in a nursing home? What if I won’t have the energy to do the things I love?”

 Wrinkles Don’t Hurt can help your clients become more mindful, learn to quiet their minds and listen to the positive thoughts they can instill in themselves. They can begin to see how words have the power to make them feel good or bad, confident or fearful, positive or negative. It has been scientifically proven that the words we tell ourselves can make us healthy, depressed or sick. Once they realize that how they feel is a direct result of  how they talk to themselves, they have a new and powerful tool to change how they feel and then they have a choice.

A number of people answered a questionnaire I put out on
aging. The answers came from people in their 40s to their 70s.
One question was, “Do you have any fears around aging?” The
results were varied, yet there were some recurring themes. One
was financial. The second was being lonely or socially isolated.
The third was all that comes with becoming mentally and physically
disabled. My fears included: “I am afraid I won’t be able to
support myself,” “I don’t want to lose my independence,” “I don’t
want to be a burden to others,” “I don’t want to be put in a nursing
home and lose my independence,” and “I don’t want to be at
the ‘mercy’ of others.”
One woman summed up an answer that can help us all:
At 68, I believe the train is already coming down the track full
speed ahead and there is no stopping it. It’s too late to buy another
ticket and the train is going too fast to jump off. Anything that could
have been done to prepare financially for seniorhood is a moot point.
My job is to accept what I have now that I’m a senior. I’m willing to
continue working and know I will have to do so for as long as I am
physically and mentally able to do so. I am very conscious of living
within my means and not accumulating debt. In the final analysis, I
am trusting my Higher Power to help me work it out.